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The rest is love and commitment. Am I wrong? Don’t you feel the same? Or is living like that too much to deal with? I want to think that I’ve moved past being so narcissistic, but if I’ve completely misunderstood…” Brown eyes flooded with tears. “Of course I love you, Jahn, and I’m well past any resentment of Jenny. It’s just… I never could have wished for anything like this. It seems like there are so many reasons we shouldn’t, like this is wrong or something. I love you, but…” “We all need somebody to love. This is about what _you_ want. Will you marry me?” “I…” Staring at the back of her hand, she examined the ring, tears sliding down her cheeks. Her gaze shifted aside to Jen’s worry-filled expression before cutting back to his, and some of the luster returned to her eyes. Whatever concerns that exceptional mind of hers could raise, she left them unspoken, resolve in her features. She slid her own ring into place. “Yes.” *** Hard decisions had to be made in the first weeks after. Not as sexual as when “N” got the tour, but nice. We then went to the mountains. T collected interesting stones from the river to decorate her apartment and yard with and I took pictures, of the river and of T (Fully clothed ;) in the beautiful scenery. It was a perfect day, nice. After the mountains we returned to my home and made love on my family room floor. It was all very…..nice. T had to go to work in the morning, so she left for her apartment and didn’t spend the night. I pondered the day’s events and the sex at the end of it and felt…. deceitful. I was not being myself; I was being the man I thought T needed me to be. I decided since this wasn’t going to last anyway, I won’t pretend to be someone I was not. The next time we got together, Tuesday night. I brought some of my favorite sex toys. I wasn’t going to drag things out with vanilla sex only to find out the girl was turned off by devices and toys. I figured, best to get it over with and for both of us to move on if we.
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